Metta transcends all boundaries of caste, class, race and religion. It is limitless in size and range (appamanna); it has no barriers, no discriminations.

 Think of the number of instances during a day when your actions are colored by discrimination. When your unfortunate servant boy accidentally breaks an article, you shout at him. When your own child does it, you tolerate it. That servant boy is also somebody's child who, through bad kamma, has come under your roof to do your menial work -- to do your bidding.

 When you strike a blow across your dog's back for trampling your flower bed, do you realize the unwholesome state of your mind at the moment of such action? You may even be a person who recites the gathas and the suttas, who goes to the temple, who observes the Eight Precepts, who listens to sermons, who gives alms. But at the moment of such discriminating actions you have turned away from the Dhamma.

 At some time you may bide the time, waiting for an opportunity to take revenge on someone who has slandered you. During that period of waiting -- please think of the Buddha. Enact in your mind's eye the story of Cinca Manavika or the courtesan Sundari. Then your little embarrassments and heartaches will fade into insignificance.

 Metta is described as a divine state (brahma-vihara) which cannot co-exist with anger or hatred. "Hatreds never cease through hatreds in this world. Through love alone they cease. This is an eternal law." Goodwill, loving-kindness, benevolence and universal love are suggested as the best renderings of the Pali word metta. A point to be clarified here is that metta is not synonymous with ordinary affection. The world cannot exist without mutual affection. Between parents and children, between husbands and wives, between teachers and pupils, between friends, exist varying degrees of affection. This affection is natural, and metta has to be cultivated. A benevolent attitude is the chief characteristic of metta. One who practices metta is constantly interested in promoting the welfare of others -- not only in his family and friends. Such a person is sincere when he says: "May all beings be happy."

 Another very important point that should be clearly understood is that in exercising metta, do not ignore yourself. How often do you say, "Oh, I got so angry with myself" or "I can never forgive myself"? Some hasty words or actions on your part fill you with resentment towards yourself. Remorse, though a fine corrective, is an extreme form which can bar your progress when indulged in again and again. There are times when you may even make yourself mentally and physically ill. So the most important person to make friends with is yourself.

 Remorse, regret, diffidence and hopelessness are negative tendencies the existence of which can never result in a friendly disposition towards oneself. Metta is a positive quality. Unless you feel friendly toward yourself, you cannot be friendly towards others. To the world outside you may appear to be well-disposed towards others and give the impression of possessing a benevolent, magnanimous nature. But be aware of yourself. Be honest with yourself. Honesty is the starting point towards self-purification.
 

 "To thine own self be true
  And it must follow as the night the day
  Thou canst not be false to any other man."

 "Whoever looks for a friends without imperfections will never
  find what he seeks."

 "A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter.
  He that has found one has found a treasure."

 "He who throws away a friend is as bad as he who throws away his life."

 "I" or "myself" should be the central or starting point. Metta radiates from oneself to others, so it is very important to feel a sense of goodwill, friendliness, well-being towards one-self. This is a subtle point which has to be clearly understood.

 The Buddha radiated metta equally towards his adversary Devadatta, Yasodhara his royal wife, and Patacara the demented woman, his royal father Kind Dusshodana and Sopaka the humble low-caste youth.

 Metta then should be extended towards friend, foe and mere acquaintances alike. The identification of oneself with all beings (sabbattata), making no difference between oneself and others is the culmination of metta. The ideas of "me" and "mine" are building blocks of barriers. Metta dissolves barriers and loosens all constraints. With the diligent practice of metta, division evaporates and humanism is realized. Such a mind is free from ill-will, and this freedom is bliss or sukha.

 Ill-will is the antithesis of metta. Anger, hatred, aversion are related qualities. Metta cannot co-exist with such unwholesome attitudes. Disparaging, condemning and belittling others is possible only through ill-will. Pointing out another's faults with the intention of leading him towards good does not mean a lack of metta. Parents, teachers and elders often have to resort to various methods of correction and reform where the young are concerned. But one has to be very watchful when one is engaged in such activity. The motive has to be analyzed carefully. Elders sometimes react in anger. At such moments one must question oneself: Was it to avert a disaster to the other that one acted so? Or was it merely giving vent to one's own anger which oppressed one?

 A mother who could not convince her son that the path through the jungle was unsafe and that he should take a safer route exclaimed in despair, "May a bear maul you!" The son departed and the mother radiating metta towards her son, hoped and prayed that no harm should befall him. Though the jungle was infested with wild animals, the loving-kindness which radiated from the core of the mother's heart towards her son was a weapon against the fierce jungle beasts. Metta, one has to understand, is a powerful weapon against evil -- and protects one from many pitfalls in life.

 Metta is a constructive healthy force with the power of combating hostile influences. Just as anger can produce toxic effects on the system, benign thoughts can produce soothing health-bringing physical effects. Many instances in the Buddha's life illustrate the fact that the peaceful thought vibrations of the Buddha produced salutary effects, so much so that the intoxicated elephant Nalagiri and the wild Angulimala were completely subdued. The magnetic power of metta is indeed deeply rewarding. Metta has a liberating influence on the one who possesses it and on the one to whom it is extended.

 In our day-to-day lives with its trials, tribulations and complexities, the art of being friendly is fast disappearing. We act like automatons. We are so wrapped up in ourselves, in our own affairs, that we hardly think it is necessary to spend time over anything that is not connected directly to ourselves and our affairs.

 We must teach our young the value of a friendly disposition. We must do it by example more than by precept. In our homes, in our schools, in our places of work, if this simple quality of friendliness is allowed to pervade the atmosphere, our corner of this earth can be a little haven -- a true home.

 Let us fill our hearts with metta, and let us make our hearts a home where peace and love and friendship will dwell.
 

 "I read within a poet's book A word that starred the page:
 'Stone walls do not a prison make
 Nor iron bars a cage!'
 Yes, that is true, and something more,
 You'll find wherever you roam
 That marble floors and gilded walls
 Can never make a home.
 But every home where Love abides
 And Friendship is a guest
 Is surely home, and home sweet home
 For there the heart can rest."